I Wish I Could Tell You
by Einstein09
Summary: One winter night Hermione finds a note Ron didn't mean for her to see. She learns something extroidinary about her best friend...One shotRHr fluff


Title: I wish I could tell you

Summary: What happens when Hermione finds a letter that Ron clearly didn't want her to see...One Shot RHr fluff

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I own nothing...nothing I tell you

This is a little bit of fluff I thought up in the wee hours of the morning. Just kidding it was only 11pm. This is my first fanfiction although I am writing another one. Hope you enjoy. Happy reading

* * *

Today wasn't a scene that differed terribly from any other that the common room had to offer. Hermione sat in a chair reading a book while Ron sat in the one next to her occasionally looking up from his chosen reading material to glance at her. Harry would be sat in the chair perpendicular to Ron's with one hand holding a book and the other holding the hand of his girlfriend Ginny who would also be reading a rather large book. The only sound that filled the common room was the crackling of the fire and the rustling of overturned paper. This silence was usual for Christmas holidays.

The quartet now warming themselves comfortably in front of the fire had been previously engaged in a rather furious snowball fight that had left both parties drenched and freezing. They had stumbled up from the grounds narrowly escaping both Filch and Mrs. Norris before collapsing into a heap of laughter on the common room floor. They had lain there for quite a while basking in the glory of their escape. Of course it had been realized what trouble they could have been in if they had been caught. The rather unpleasant notion had been dismissed the moment the common room had been reached. After they had gotten up a large wet splotch marked their crime, Hermione performed a scourgify charm on the rug erasing the offending mark.

Both the girls and the boys had changed into a new, and dryer, set of clothing whilst the drenched clothes they had formerly donned were hung on an invisible line in front of the fire.

Harry disturbed the peace of the room by clearing his throat loudly. He closed his book with a flourish and offered an explanation, "I'm famished." Ron's ears perked up at the mention of his friend's lack of nourishment, anything for food. As response to Harry's claim Ginny stood up and with cat-like grace stretched out her back. Her hand was still clasped with Harry's causing him to stand up as well, with no co-ordination whatsoever. His book toppled to the floor and he sheepishly grinned in response to the dull thud its fall produced. Hermione tutted obviously annoyed over the disturbance of the wonderful silence of the room and, more likely, the treatment of Hogwart's property. This noise diverted Ron from his process of getting up.

Harry asked, noticing Ron's delay, "Ron are you coming down to dinner." Ron looked at Hermione who had now gone back to the intense study of her book. He responded, "Uh...that's okay I'll wait here with Hermione." If this response surprised Harry at all he masked it well. He shrugged his shoulders and walked with Ginny through the portrait hole and towards the Great Hall.

As the portrait hole swung shut Hermione looked up from her book, "You know Ron you could've gone down." He shrugged and said, "That's alright I can wait, besides you're almost done." She smiled, her chocolate brown eyes sparking. She then reverted her gaze back to the book. He studied her as she read. He noticed how her formerly bushy hair had softened into chestnut waves that Ron desperately wished he could run his hands through. He saw how her long, slender fingers fiddled with the corners of the pages until it came time to turn them. He wished he could have those fingers intertwined with his. He studied when a lock of hair fell from it's crook in her ear she would absentmindedly tuck it in again. Oh, how he wished he could be the one to tuck it back into its resting place. He was infatuated.

Whilst he studied her she never glanced up. Ron randomly thought that he would be happy if he got half as much attention as that book did from Hermione. The thought caused Ron to flush a dark crimson. Much to his horror Hermione chose to look up at precisely the wrong moment and saw Ron when he most resembled a redheaded tomato.

A concerned Hermione marked her place in her book and turned toward Ron. She asked, "Ron are you alright, you got really flushed all of a sudden?" Ron grew even redder at this comment and murmured, "I'm fine." Looking none too convinced she said softly, "Are you sure there's nothing wrong?" He stuttered a short no. Hermione edged her chair over slightly towards Ron, her eyes clouded in worry, and whispered, "Because if there were you could tell me, you know that right?" Ron nodded then opened his book hastily pretended to be thoroughly entranced by its content. He chose to ignore Hermione's further inquiries.

He suddenly felt the book being snatched out of his hands. His head whipped up as he whined, "Why did you do that?" Hermione stood with her feet firmly planted on the ground and explained, "Because you were ignoring me." Ron feigned innocence, "Was not." She stamped her foot on the ground reminding Ron strongly of a 2-year-old daughter of his father's colleague he had to baby-sit once. Hermione firmly said, "Yes you were."

"Prove it." 

"Okay," Hermione planted a triumphant look on her face, "Number one, this is your History of Magic textbook. Number two it's Christmas holiday. Number three, this is your _History of Magic _textbook!"

Ron interrupted, "You said that twice."

Hermione snapped, "Obviously, I'm trying to make a point here," she paused, "Anyway. Number four; I didn't even ask you to read this yet. And number five it's upside down. So spill Ron."

Ron acquired his trademark deer-caught-in-the-headlights look and once again feigned indifference. However in the wake of Hermione's evil gaze he floundered and finally surrendered. With his shoulders slumped he fell back into his chair. Hermione gave a half-grin and asked, "So what's up?" A voice inside Ron's head screamed, "I love you!" He quickly shushed the voice in his head and instead muttered, "Girl trouble." He closed his eyes after this comment and therefore could not see the reaction upon Hermione's face. Her smile fell and her eyes were devoid of any twinkle. She then regained her composure before asking, and not too willingly mind you, "Is there anything I can do to help?"

Ron shook his head. Hermione prompted, "I am a girl you know" Ron snapped his head up, "Hermione trust me I know you're a girl." Hermione look slightly confused at this sudden outburst, "I didn't mean it like that. I was just saying that maybe I could help you to figure things out from a different perspective. So, will you let me?" He sighed, "I guess so."

Hermione took her seat again but turned it to face him, her legs crossed and hands placed on her lap in a business like manner. Her gaze was an inquisitive one as she asked, "So talk to me." Ron did not see the look of pain that had crossed his best friend's face. He sighed and then began to talk, "Well there's this girl. She...uh...I guess you could say I like her," Ron licked his lips and, with Hermione's prompting, continued, now on a roll, "She is beautiful. There are some times when I don't even understand how she became a woman. I know that sounds shallow but it was like one day she was a girl who I thought was cute and the next day she was a woman that I found stunning. I'm not the only one who's seen it, other guys definitely notice her. It bothers me but I know that I liked her first. I liked her before they even knew her name...

"Besides they're intimidated by her, because she's so brilliant. She mistakes it as lack of attraction, but I know better. There are plenty of guys that look at her but no one really knows her like I do. I guess that really doesn't matter. I'm too scared to go get her anyway. I'll probably have to watch her go and marry some other man while I always wish I would've done something."

As he came to a soft and resigned finish Hermione nearly yelled, "Then do something." Ron was in shock after her response and also about his sudden outpour of emotion. He stuttered, "What?"

"You have to go do something! If she goes much longer without knowing this she'll miss out on the best guy she could...she could...she could possibly have." Tears had begun to stream down Hermione's cheeks.

"Hermione are you alright?"

"Yes I'm fine, just fine. But you aren't. You have all this emotion inside and this girl, whoever she is, needs to know. Go do something."

Ron was taken aback by her reaction once more especially concerned with her vigor. He turned on his heel and headed up toward his bedroom. Hermione stood down there with her hand on her hip shouting, "Ron what _are_ you doing?" Ron smiled and said, "Going to do something, like you said. Thanks you made me realize what a dolt I've been." Hermione watched as he rushed up towards his room and whispered, "Anytime." She heard the door slam and she crumbled into tears.

* * *

Ron collapsed onto his bed. He was a dolt. He nearly admitted to Hermione that he loved her. He had let his emotions take control of him. They caused words to fly out of Ron's mouth completely against his will. He now understood why girls could ramble on about anything... it was their emotions talking. It didn't make him feel any better. If Hermione was so keen on helping him with his 'girl trouble' it was obvious she didn't like him, as if there was ever any possibility.

The thought of Hermione never being able to return the feelings that were so vibrant and passionate completely crumbled his resolve. He let tears fall heavy and fast down his face. 'How could he let himself get this way over a girl, especially when this girl was Hermione, his best friend? How could he have been so stupid? Hermione would never like him. So he would always just be the best friend, taking the backseat, watching the girl he loved go off with another man. It wouldn't be hard for him. He had the backseat in everything else; it was just another one tacked onto the list.

As he sat on the end of his bed sobbing heavily a new jumble of words came into his head. He grabbed a spare piece of parchment and Harry's quill. He had misplaced his earlier. The words began to tumble out onto the paper. It was like a weight lifted off his chest. His tears blotted some of the words but he didn't care. He had to get his feelings out somehow and he most certainly wouldn't be blubbering in front of his dorm-mates especially Harry. His stomach rumbled reminding him of his lack of dinner and for once in his life he ignored it.

Hermione's voice rang up through the tower, "Ron I'm going to dinner, would you like to come?" Ron's stomach rumbled in response. He shouted, "I'll be down in a moment!" With a final flourish he finished whatever it was he was writing. He conjured a tissue out of thin air and used it to wipe himself clean. The last person he wanted knowing he had cried was Hermione. She called again, "Ron are you coming?" Ron hurried up and rushed downstairs. In his hurry he forgot to conceal the letter lying in plain view on his desk.

* * *

Hermione, now void of any sign of her previous tears, waited impatiently at the bottom of the stairs. Ron jumped down seemingly his old self again. He asked, "Off to dinner?" She nodded and together they began their trek toward the Great Hall. As they stood outside of the portrait hole Hermione smacked her forehead and stated, "I forgot my book in the common room I need to return it to the library." Ron asked, "Would you like me to wait for you?" She brushed him off, "No need Ron. I'll be back. Just tell Harry and Ginny I'll be there in a moment." He nodded his agreement and went off.

The Fat Lady, obviously irritated, asked, "Password?" Hermione answered, "Hinkypunk." The Fat Lady opened up rather slowly trying to make her annoyance known. Hermione sensed this and apologized, "I really am sorry about this. I honestly did forget something." The portrait warmed and said, "It's alright dear."

Hermione rushed to the chair in which she sat and picked up the book she had forgotten. As the cover was turned over Hermione realized that this was her book, the library book was in her dormitory. She lightly skipped up the stairs but was stopped by a fluttering piece of parchment. Its surface was covered in an untidy scrawl that Hermione recognized immediately as Ron's. Curious, she picked it up.

To her surprise it was covered in tearstains. In all her years of knowing Ron she had never seen him cry. Immediately concerned she began to read:

I wish I could tell you how I have loved you since fourth year, ever since Victor bloody Krum swept you off your feet.

I wish I could tell you how I spend at least 50% of the day just staring at you, contemplating all the ways I could possibly tell you how I feel, each of them as implausible as the last.

I wish I could tell you how I can't stay in the same room as you for two seconds before my heart starts going crazy and all I want to do is kiss you.

I wish I could tell you how every time I see you I want to tell you how beautiful you are, how I've memorized your face down to the last freckle.

I wish I could tell you how intelligent I think you are in so many ways.

I wish I could tell you that you're my best friend and I wish that someday we could be more.

I wish I could tell you how much I yearn to hear that you feel the same way but how impossible I know that is.

I wish I could tell you how angry I am of the guys that look at you, how I wish I could tear them apart.

I wish I could tell you how jealous I get at every single look you get that's not from me.

I wish I could tell you how I noticed the change in you before anyone. You're no longer a girl but a woman, a gorgeous woman who exudes confidence, intelligence, and modesty.

I wish I could tell you how proud I am to be your friend yet I still wish I was more, and always will.

I wish I could tell you how you've helped me become the person I am today.

But mostly I wish I could tell you that I love you and I always have. It comes from the deepest portion of my heart. My love for you is so strong it has a mind of its own.

There are many things I wish I could tell you but I can't. There are too many things that I would be risking. I don't want to lose you as a friend because I value our friendship above anything, including the love I have for you. I respect you too much to hurt you. I know that if I choose what is best for you and me I will take the backseat, just as I always do. I don't know how I'll be able to see you fall in love with another guy but I will take the chance, _because_ I love you. I am blessed to even be your friend and I shouldn't take the blessing for granted. I should be satisfied with your friendship but there will always be the part of me that wishes it could be more. Over time that portion will become smaller but it will forever be present. I love you Hermione and nothing will ever change that, past present or future.

Hermione's eyes were tearing up. Ron had just proclaimed his love to her in this letter, or note he was most likely going to set alight. She, however, saw it. Her heart was pounding heavily in her chest. Her mind was spinning. She was in a drunken glee. The boy, the man she loved returned her feelings. And he respected her enough to not risk a relationship because of the value he placed on their friendship. Her lips were upturned at the corner, her eyes out of focus.

With her library book forgotten and the letter was dropped hastily as she rushed toward the Great Hall. The Fat Lady called out after her, "Dear you forgot your book!" When Hermione didn't respond she shut herself in a huff murmuring something about kids and the lack of disrespect for their elders. Hermione didn't hear a word of it.

* * *

The doors of the Great Hall were slung open in a welcoming matter. It was full of Christmas decorations and cheer. The teachers had sprigs of holly adorning their hats and fur trimming their robes. Each table had a centerpiece of red ribbon, pine leaves, holly, pinecones, and mistletoe. The food was served in golden bowls that were enchanted to sing a carol each time you took another helping. Hermione didn't see any of it. Her focus was on the laughing redheaded young man wearing hand-me-down robes and a smile that was all his own.

Harry was the first to realize she was standing at the entrance. He motioned for her to come sit down. She walked slowly towards the redhead. Without getting his attention she leaned into his ear and whispered, "I love you too." Ron's eyes grew wide from surprise and he stood up to get a better look at Hermione. He asked, "What? Herm..." At this Hermione's lips upon his own cut him off.

Harry began to laugh at the utter and complete shock Ron was in. The girl of his dreams was kissing him, in the middle of the Great Hall, in front of the headmaster and all of the professors, and in front of their best friend. Ron slowly recovered from the shock and suddenly realized that Hermione was still kissing him. As their kiss became mutual Harry chanced a look at Dumbledore who was engaged in a lively conversation with Professor Sinistra obviously ignoring the spectacle in front of him. In fact, most of the teachers were choosing to ignore this, apart from Snape, but Harry had a sneaky suspicion Dumbledore was doing more than just talking to Sinistra. However Ron wouldn't have noticed this on a normal day. This was an unusual circumstance.

Ron was in heaven. His food was forgotten, his friend and sister were forgotten, everything was forgotten except for the wonderful feeling of Hermione's lips upon his own. After years of dreaming and hoping it finally was coming true. Their kiss came to a sweet end. Hermione joined her forehead with Ron and said, a little breathlessly, "I found your letter." Ron replied, "I figured."

Hermione whispered, still entirely caught up in the moment, "I love you."

Ron smiled and whispered back, "I love you too."

Everything was perfect for them. Voldemort was forgotten, death was forgotten, tests, books, and assignments were forgotten. They were in a world created only for them. Sure, reality would once again emerge as it always does but for the moment they were blissfully unaware of anything other than the love emanating from each other.

* * *

Fin

Hope you enjoyed!!!

Einstein


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